Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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