Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
