how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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