He asked to "fluff my boner.."
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
