p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
