I think i peed on brittanys purse
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
