Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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