We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
