What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize