if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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