and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
