UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
