Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Randomize
