I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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