I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I have fence marks all over my body
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize