Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
