woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
