Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
