Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
