FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
