why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
