My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize