if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
