i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
