The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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