Christians are straight up FREAKS
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
