I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
