i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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