you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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