What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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