I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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