I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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