Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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