Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I need a hoe opinion
go on
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize