i need an iv and a liver transplant
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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