I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
