you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize