...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
My breasts were aching with rage.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
