Sry I called you an 8
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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