i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
