and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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