she looked like the before picture.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
