It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
