So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize