I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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