I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
