You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
the gays at disneyland are vicious
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize