Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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