He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
birth control should be required to get into college
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
