You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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