We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize