is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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