Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
