They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
