The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
