just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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