I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
