Sponge bath it is.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
