We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
